Kiska
Wednesday, June 21, 2017
Parents and discipline
As
my first year as an Assistant Principal ends, I think about the many parents
that I’ve conferenced with to discuss discipline issues or concerns. As I met
with parents, I noticed brand new Jordans, new outfits, fresh hairstyles, or
new jewelry. I would find myself asking the parents how the student received
the new item when they were recently suspended or violated a code of conduct. I
cannot recall any of the parents being able to justify the reason the student
received the item, although the students’ behavior did not warrant the reward. Parents
often pacify their children so they can be seen
as the friend instead of the parent. When there is limited discipline and
structure within the dynamics of parent-child relationships,
the child suffers social, emotionally, and cognitively. Also, parents fail to
realize that they give up their power when they just succumb to their children
wants instead of making them earn them. I guess some parents need to understand
the exact definition of “wants” and
“needs.” A child needs consists of
clothing, shelter, food, and love; while “wants” consists of items that
children desire to have. If parents start at an
early age instilling in children that they have to work hard and follow
directions; they will be rewarded for their good behavior. Parents can’t
wait until children are teenagers to try and start being parents that
discipline.
Kiska
Kiska
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Kiska, couldn't have said any of that better myself. Meeting with parents of children that are having discipline issues often opens our eyes to why the student is acting that way. I've seen mom's come in wearing outfits their daughter wore the week before that violated dress code. Failure to provide structure at home almost always carries over to the school day. I also find that these are the same types of parents that have the students that have the most issues with authority and adults. Whether it be in regards to the classroom teacher, administrator, custodian, whoever. There are so many students that feel as if they can speak to adults however they please. Meeting the parents of students often provides illustration to "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree". Great post.
ReplyDeleteOne of my friends and colleagues recently shared with me how she and her husband chose to respond when they learned about the undesired behavior shown by their son in high school. Their son lost focus on his academics when he transferred to a new school and developed new friendships. Prior to attending his current school, this child had excellent grades and is a top performing athlete (basketball, football, and baseball. He is amazing!)
ReplyDeleteOnce his parents made the connection between his declining grades and his new friendships, they removed all of his "fancy" clothes, shoes, devices, etc. from his possession and replaced them with generic or value-store items. They told him he seemed too distracted by his "fancy" items and "fancy" friends and that he seemed to value them more than his future opportunities. Neither of his parents caved on their decision and it seemed to help him better prioritize his life.
After she told me that story, she dropped the mic. #thingsawesomeparentsdo